Celebrating Well By Asking for Help

The following was originally published as Episode 02 of Celebrate Confidently the Podcast. I’ve re-published the script on my blog now that the podcast has been retired.

Today, I want to talk about something that has been incredibly challenging for me for as long as I can remember and I’m going to assume I’m not alone in this. It's asking others for help. Being vulnerable and asking for assistance or friendship from others. This is something I’ve been working to learn and overcome the past few years and it has been a game changer in how I celebrate others and how I can celebrate myself. 

I used to always want to project that I had it all together. See, I was so afraid that people wouldn't ask me for help if they didn't think I had the capacity to help them. So this looked like me never asking for help for myself because I wanted to seem like I was so put together that I was always available. If I had my stuff together, then I could also take on theirs, which is such a fallible way of approaching friendship and loving others well. What I’ve now learned is that in reality by showing others that I need help and I'm willing to reach out it, in turn, gave them permission to ask for help along the way. Also, and here’s a novel thought -- I love to help people! And I have to assume that others may feel the same way. They feel valued when you value their opinion and when they know what they can do to love you better.

Here’s the honest truth: There are so many things going on in today's world and we have so many things in our brains that we’re juggling, especially as women. We are a multitasking mess most days and shoot. I don't need to be second-guessing if someone actually wants my help or not. They probably do, whether they realize it or not. Especially if we are approaching them with gentleness and love. 

So really being straightforward in asking for help is such a blessing. I mean, that's a gift to your people. Not fully convinced yet? Let me share a story specifically about starting this podcast.

About halfway through my time being furloughed from my full-time job during the COVID-19 shutdown, I had this thought of starting a podcast and I had gotten to the end of my creative rope. I had talked about it in length with my husband and we both were to a point where neither one of us were having any fresh ideas as far as coming up with a name or a topic to be able to serve as the umbrella for all my ideas for episodes. I was feeling defeated and doubting if starting a podcast would ever be a thing when I finally realized that I had very creative women in my life that run creative businesses or have their own podcast or have been a part of entrepreneurial start-ups. Also, they’re the type of women that would be my target audience, plain and simple. 

Most also happen to be avid podcast listeners. It was foolish of me to have such great resources at my fingertips who happened to be four of my very best friends. All I had to do was ask for help. But it took being honest about my dreams and goals first. And that felt embarrassing and risky. However, I really wanted to find a way to make podcasting work, so I finally had to humble myself. I popped on my phone and made a video explaining my initial thoughts and requested their assistance to be my Creative Brain Trust and sent it off their way. I’d be lying if I told you I felt better after sending it. That would be a NO. When I first did it, I started getting in my head. “Oh, no, are they going to think that I'm crazy? Or prideful? Or over-extending myself? Or…” fill in the blank, I had all the negative thoughts right out of the gate. 

Thankfully, after the rush of doubt, I was reminded of what I’ve been working so hard to learn -- or rather unlearn -- this past year. That I love who I am and how God made me and who He wired me to be. And I trust that my friends love who I am and who God wired me to be and so together, we're on the same page. No lie, it wasn’t but two minutes after I claimed my peace in sending the request that they started chiming in with a resounding heck to the yes! But you know what else they said? Thank you. Thank you for including us in this. Thank you for trusting us with your dream. We see this for you. We want to cheer you on in this. And then you know what? They gave me really really great feedback.

I sent that message around 2 in the afternoon one day and merely three days later I had named this podcast, secured the website url and social media handles, and had a running list of 30+ episodes that I could start to form out. Now I’m editing this episode to note that I’ve had a tiny hiccup in the launch process and had to rename my podcast nine months later, but do you know who I went to when it felt like the train was about to run off the tracks? My husband and these friends. They picked me up, affirmed me in Truth, and provided another great name. So here we are — Celebrate Confidently the Podcast. And it would have never happened this AT ALL had I never been willing to reach out and ask others for help. 

So here’s where I flip it around and ask you to think about this in your own life? Is there an area or activity now that you can invite others into? It doesn’t have to be a new business or creative endeavor. It could be starting a bible study or a weekly girl’s night. It could be childcare-sharing where you trade off watching each other’s kiddos so that you each get some “me time” in the week. Or asking someone to bring a side dish to the next party you’re hosting. If they’re asking what they can bring, please hear me -- they really don’t want to show up empty-handed. I’m certain that you will be pleasantly surprised by your people’s willingness to jump in on the invite and show up for you. And in turn, you’ll get to show up for them because they will feel permission to ask for help as well.